Monday, October 31, 2011

Bitch Bitch Bitch: The Video For Lacuna Coil's "Heaven's A Lie"

Today I'm going to start a segment called Bitch Bitch Bitch in which I scathingly review things I don't like. I've done something like this before (with Wednesday 13) that I'm going to tag shortly after I finish this post. Today I'm kind of pissed at myself for buying (and downloading onto the Xbox) Lacuna Coil's video for "Heaven's A Lie".



Don't get me wrong. I like the song. I like its subtle message of not forcing opinions upon others (I would say I'm doing the same thing but I'm not going to outcast you or persist it further if you disagree). I like the melody. What I don't like, however, is the video. There's two videos for this: One is extremely low-budget and just shows the band on a staircase. This is excusable-- this is their first known video. The second is the one I'm reviewing right now, the more high-budget one.


Maybe I'm being a little bit anal about the content of the video. I prefer artistic perspective and humorous antics over just a band being shown playing a song (example: I prefer Tool videos over anything made by Paramore). And Cristina Scabbia is, indeed, beautiful. But her beauty should not be the center of the majority of the video-- otherwise, the band comes across as self-indulgent and narcissistic. Unfortunately, that's exactly what's being done about this video: implying that Lacuna Coil is self-indulgent and narcissistic, even though they may or may not be.

The video starts off with Cristina walking towards the camera and throwing some ninja star, to which Whats-His-Face (Andrea Ferro) dodges in the next frame. The scene then cuts to what appears at first to be a two-story unfinished shed where the band has both singers on alternate floors. When Cristina sings, the camera makes damn sure that it gets every sexy movement and alluring coo to a T. This is basically the entire video from then out:
Chorus: Two bands on two different floors
Verse: Schmexy shoot!
Chorus: Two bands again, with the camera violently shaking
Guitar Break: Guitarist, drummer and bassist and whoever the hell else is surrounded by bullet-motion
Chorus: The band again, fade out with Cristina eyeing you every which way you go.

What the fuck does any of this have to do with the message of the song?

Oh yeah, there's this scene too, which is just another special effect. That's pretty much what this entire video is-- Cristina and special effects. It's like an easily amazed 12-year old who just hit puberty directed the video. I can understand when special effects are used to do what is virtually impossible in real life or to create otherwise non-existant entities and animals and such. What I don't understand is when special effects are used for no fucking reason at all. "It just looks cool" is a shallow response to that. And I expect Lacuna Coil to be a little more artistic than that.

Whatever, I guess. There's probably much more awful videos than this one. Some, with awful songs. Thankfully it's not both with this one. But come on, man. I payed 160 Microsoft Points (About 2 US dollars) for this where I could have just spent it on another House episode. I would expect, if not an equivalent amount of visual and audible entertainment and engagement, SOME of it. 

New caps soon. :p

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

:(

Yeah, I know. I'm behind on captions, particularly requests and capbacks. There's a reason: I recently came down with a cold and am currently nursing that. I'll be on here once the influenzic asshole goes away. Til then...um.....

DISTRACTION

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Vengeance For The Changed

This here is a caption from Wraithstrike. As always, I hope you enjoy it like I have. :)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Light?

I'm over what was getting me down...for now. It's not solved but hell...that's what happy pills are for! Unfortunately, my followers, I have not created captions. I will in due time. Hopefully by the end of the week. Right now I'm financially fucked and need to do something about it swiftly...ideas for that need to come first, I'm afraid. Ideas for my story come second because I really hate leaving things unfinished. Somewhere in the midst I'll find a guy and turn him into a woman....I mean, Miss Terry certainly isn't done yet ;) I'll keep you posted. Bye for now :)

Friday, October 7, 2011

Darkness

So I'm in a really bad place right now in which I'm finding it really hard to be ambitious about anything anymore. I feel like a bag of putrid shit everyday, my inspiration is null, and my motivation is sapped. As a result, I'm gonna be offline for a period of time. Do not mistake this, however, for the end of this blog or my captioneering. I just need a break is all...if I make captions between today and the time I decide to come back, I'll post them up. See you guys whenever.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Untitled

I can't think of a great title for this because, to me, this isn't really the best caption I've ever done. The story kind of goes all over the place....still, liking the bodysuit idea.

Beginning for Nancy

Plug of the Week, 10/2/2011- 10/8/2011

One word: Oops. I'm a little late with this week's Plug but no matter....I'm late with everything pertaining to my blog as of recent. This week is Yvonne.

Yvonne's Caption World

Hop to it!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Formspring!

Now, like many of my fellow TG captioneers, I have a Formspring.

Ask me shit!

I may or may not post questions up here. We'll see what happens. :)