I don't know what's going on anymore, guys. I have no idea what to feel, think or do about all of this. I haven't had the motivation to do captions in quite awhile. I haven't really felt the motivation to do anything beyond continuing that story I was working on and even that's come to a crawl. I kind of feel like an ass for never communicating with fellow captioners or Haven members. I feel like a hypocrite for being a feminist and continuing to host a site that features captions describing men becoming women, at times not wanting to be so. Making it worse is my reaction to this post:
http://thefemmeside.tumblr.com/post/69528339349/dont-you-ever-feel-as-though-youre-demeaning-women
My reaction is this: Holy shit, is that response a fucking problem. Whoever runs that site completely dismisses the anonymous woman's complaint, then goes on to say that the site doesn't demean women, it demeans 'sissies'. That doesn't make it any better-- in fact, instead of demeaning women, it flat out insults RL transgender people. The whole response is condescending and it sounds like someone trying to justify being misogynistic.
That's where it really gets me, though: Who the hell am I, a guy who also runs a TG caption blog, to criticize?
And that's where I currently stand. I don't have an idea for a caption anymore. Yes, I'm aware that I'm in debt to other captioneers (me in debt, go figure) and I might repay them in kind, but I don't know if I'll ever do anything further than that. I might be done. Like I said, I don't know anymore.
Just so you guys know and aren't actively looking in caves for something that isn't there. Happy Holidays!
Dear Stephanie,
ReplyDeleteI have just come across your blog and this declaration. I am a TG captioner that's been doing this for over 10 years, on Yahoo Groups since 2004 but they kinda just destroyed their functionality. Anywho, I've felt the same as you do about this hobby periodically over the years. Why keep doing it? I'm a straight guy writing about guys turning into women getting with guys, and the family swaps are addictive to write until you sit down and think about it in depth and you start questioning your morals, values, and sanity. With me, feminism long had a role to play, heck, I used to believe being a woman would be better than being a guy, that femininity would make life and the world better. Back then I didn't believe in the term "bitch", but as time went on things change. Part of me kept going because I didn't want to disappoint my members. TG Captioning seemed to have an impact. Plus they complained everytime I mentioned retiring, which helped boost the ego a bit. Heck, it's been a constant in my life and I wonder if I've wasted over a decade doing this in my spare time! Instead of captioning pics of women maybe I could've been dating women. Probably not, still get rejected like crazy, but it makes me think if I could be them instead maybe I'd have a real social life and be wanted by somebody. Point is, you'll have to figure out what makes you tick and if this doesn't fit into your life then by all means retire. If you feel the urge to caption you can always come back, or if you want to be a lurker then just enjoy captions by others, I've been finding tons of blogs on here now that I'm outside my Yahoo shell. Hope this helps. Think I'm rambling.